To Blog or Not to Blog...

We're all alive and doing super well over here at the Bradford Casa... I just haven't been taking the time to blog about it :) after numerous conversations that just randomly occurred with different groups of friends, I kind of staged my own personal blogging boycott. I just hear so often about how Facebook and Blogs are PRIME territory for amazing devoted super terrific females to compare themselves to the "Supermoms" and "Superchicks" of the world. It frustrates the LIFE out of me that the Evil one has the capability o take something as simple as a blog to create unrest/jealousy/self-loathing in the souls of God-serving and Jesus-loving ladies. Ya know? Anyway, after many a convo I found myself feeling kind of disgusted and totally turned off to the thought of typing up a post about my life. I asked myself, 'Why in the WORLD would I risk becoming a stumbling block to another gal?' Not that my life is glamorous by any...ANY means :) I have just been knd of battling that thought process. But then there's the other part of me that totally loves keeping track of the little things... Being able to go back and remember different phases of life/marriage/parenthood, remembering the little ways God has worked in our little life! Little moments of joy... And I think, 'I shouldn't let the Evil one steal my joy... There is no guilt where the motivations of the heart are pure...right?'. Ugh. I still don't know. But I DO know I have family who miss their little Bradford updates. So... An update on the last couple months and perhaps a return to my Life&Heart Virtually Documented are in the works. Time will tell. Still questioning the whole issue... But... I'll exit w a super happy thought... YAY FOR SPRING!!

Thoughts on Marriage

In talking with a friend recently, I realized that I have a "view" on marriage.  I believe that entering into and maintaining a marriage that honors and glorifies The Lord is a blessing, a challenge, and takes a massssivvve amount of intentional living.  It's a series of decisions that have to be made over & over again.  Every. Single. Day.  The decision to place your spouse before every other person and thing.  Even yourself.  The decision to enjoy your spouse.  The decision to forgive your spouse.  The decision to be gentle and kind toward your spouse.  When these thing don't happen, I absolutely do NOT believe it's always because we choose NOT to.  I think a lot of times, it's just that we forget to make a choice either way.  We get caught up in the millions of other things in life.  Our spouse is one of the FEW constants in life, so I guess it can be easy to just overlook them...  So, my "view" on marriage is that it should be the most intentional part of your day, your energy, and your life.  Although I am by NO means an expert or a master at marriage, I know that I try to be intentional in my relationship with B-Riz (he usually makes it really easy!), but there are plenty of occasions (a lot more than I care to count) that I fall into the trap of marital stagnation/selfishness.

Brian and I were super into talking about marriage when we were dating/engaged.  I feel like we made a pretty intentional and informed decision on who we were choosing as a lifelong spouse.  Um, don't get me wrong here...

I mean, did he sweep me off my feet when we started dating?  YES.  

Was I blinded by love like so many other young & in lovvvve females?  HECK YES.

 ... but luckily B-Riz is the bomb, so my unconditional infatuation didn't result in any regrets :) 

But, seriously.  We talked about marriage SO much before we were actually married, that I literally can't think of one thing that took me by "surprise".  We discussed how we expected to be treated privately & in public, spending habits, banking, working aspirations, parenting, disciplining, temptations, what we wanted our kids involved in, what kind of church we envisioned our family being a part of, what we pictured evenings at home looking like, if we wanted to be the hosts or guests on the regular, what kind of house we wanted to settle into, pets, # of kids, where to live (something we never have/will be 100% in agreement on!), how often we wanted to visit parentals, strengths, weaknesses, pet peeves, concerns, dreams, travel, hobbies... you name it, we probably talked about it.  Like... 12 times.  We talked about our parents' marriages alllll the time.  The amazing qualities we saw in them that we wanted to adopt for our own marriage.  We looked at their marriages and discussed all the little things that we saw would be an inevitable challenge at some point, and tried to come up with ways we could avoid, or at least be extra aware of, these issues.  We discussed our opinions on every little teeny tiny thing, and where we differed, we just talked some more.  Until we came to some kind of COMPROMISE (one of the most beautiful, yet easily forgotten, parts of marriage if you ask me!).  

We tried to foresee what could potentially be the biggest trouble areas for each of us, in terms of being a good and BIBLICAL wife/husband, and figure out ways to be prepared.   I'm not sure if it's a personality thing, but we have approached our marriage as some sort of challenge, without even realizing it!  Brian's competitive nature won't really allow him to fail at anything he puts his mind to.  And my analytical thought processes want to know the root of every word/action/facial expression.  This has resulted in us talking almost everything out.  Honesty is the name of the game.  When we're not rolling smoothly, neither of us is down.  Sure, we have had our seasons of frustrations/annoyances, but (SO FAR) nothing that has festered into a serious issue. 

However:

We are both acutely aware of the fact that satan is just WAITING for his moment to attack us.  We know that at some point, and probably MULTIPLE points, we will find ourselves in the midst of some major marital discord.  I hope and pray that our approach will have us as prepared as we can be for those times.  I know without the slightest doubt that The Lord will see us through thick & thin as long as we continue to use Him as the glue that holds our marriage together.  We are one, now.  Two souls bound by God.  Since June 2, 2007:  Brian and Roxanne = brianandroxanne. 

I'm super thankful that thus far, we have experienced a pretty smooth ride on the marriage train :)  I am genuinely looking forward to the triumphs, trials, great times, and not so great times ahead with B-Riz as my husband.  I know there are many laughs, many tears, and many learning experiences on the horizon.  It's amazing how much God can move and teach and work through this supercool and GENIUS creation of His: Marriage.

 

God is at work....

When I moved away from Sugar Land and left First Colony, I knew I would never find a preacher that I adored quite as much as I adore Ronnie Norman.  God speaks through that man STRAIGHT to my heart literally every time I hear him speak.  Super awesome.  Well, from the first time Brian and I walked into Hope Fellowship Frisco, we knew we had found our home, thanks in HUGE part to John Makenzie.  He has a way of doing the same thing Ronnie does, he speaks genuinely, passionately, and you can just see his Jesus-Serving heart spilling out all over the stage with each sermon.  I am SO insanely thankful that God has given us this church family to encourage and teach Brian and I (and our girls! the kids stuff if the bomb for sure).

So, John's messages of late couple with the Revelation study my Lifegroup is doing have been super cool for me.  I expected something different from Revelation, just knowledge.  But, instead, The Holy Spirit has been convicting me in all sorts of interesting and exciting ways.  Revelation talks basically nonstop about True Believers.  I have no doubts about my salvation, but I've had this new awakening in my heart to serve God more intentionally.  God has given me a lot of great wisdom and conviction in the last year, mostly having to do with embracing and running with my new (well, somewhat new) role as a mom and wife.  He's also been giving me some major words about the realities of sin & satan (but that's for another time!)

I have realized that although I still have a gazillion people that I adore and care about and want to love on, my current calling is to deeply love and serve my family and the people that God has made accessible in my life right now.  I'm okay with that. I have learned and am still learning new ways to encourage and love the people I have known and loved for years, but who no longer live near me.  It's more challenging to SHOW love with distance in between, but I am trying to take my cues from Jesus. Because really, it's not about me and how much I wish people knew how much I care/think about them, it's about bringing honor and glory and recognition to Jesus' name.  I am more excited and honored to WORK HARD at being a Godly wife to Brian and Godly momma to my girls.  I'm EXCITED about this role, and although there are still many times that I find myself feeling burdened or inconvenienced, God has given me the power to overcome those feelings and redirect those thoughts that I'm pretty certain are from Satan.

I realize that this opportunity to support Brian as a wife, is something huge that God has put before me.  Brian is an amazing dude.  He loves The Lord and truly desires to glorify Him with his life.  That's a tough job, and as his wife, I'm excited about the fact that I get to encourage him, support him, comfort him, and love him in a way that pushes him toward Jesus.  That's an honor.  My heart is really being challenged about the times that I don't feel like putting my all into this role, because "I'm tired" or "it doesn't really matter" or I'm just not in the mood.  It truly is my life's work right now, and I have been reminded that God wants and expects me to "work at it as if working for The Lord"...because I AM working for The Lord!

God has also given me an awesome renewed excitement for parenting my little sweet peas :)  Not that it's much of a challenge to love those cute littles, but I see that it is a responsibility that God has placed in front of Brian and me.  Everything I do with them and for them, is ultimately for the Kingdom of God.  They are His, and I have received the blessing of providing for, nurturing, teaching, disciplining, and loving them in a way that prepares them for a life of knowing, loving, and serving God.  SO COOL.  When I remember that, I approach my days with so much more enthusiasm, excitement, and I really believe that God gives me more energy and patience when I keep Him at the forefront of my mind.

DEFINITELY not saying I've mastered any of this, but I am working every day at turning my transformed thoughts into a transformed life.  As my heart continues to be tweaked by the Holy Spirit, I know that my actions will continue to follow.  :)   Man, God is pretty awesome.

Peace Out, Lockout.

Fantasy Football addicts everywhere are rejoicing... 

I don't know about you people, but I am SO happy the NFL Lockout is OVER.  No more annoying non-news about the lockout 24/7 on Sportscenter.   I just hope they don't replace the Lockout story with their  attempts to hype the fabricated idea that Brett Favre might actually unretire for a 987th time. Or their coverage of how he's NOT planning on unretiring.  Seriously?  How is this "news"? I don't understand...  Maybe they'll replace it with a more frequent airing of the NOT Top 10, one of the greatest series' in the history of Sportscenter.  HA-larious :)

I'm just happy that my fall'o'2011 will be complete with some NFL action.  Maybe my Texans will finally make the playoffs...   :)  

Saturday. April 16, 2011. 10:18pm.

We're back from Mexico.  It was AMAAZZIINNNGGGG.  So relaxing.  But we are SO tired.  How does that happen?  We missed the girls like CRAZY.  Being reunited with them was the greatest.  :)  Thanks to my mom & pops for being parents for the week :)

I have Warrior Dash en la manana and I'm a teeny bit scurrd.  I fear that my Mexican-getaway has left me with some stomach issues that are NOT super conducive to running 3.5 miles.  Hopefully it all works out :)   

My 2 munkshins are each a month older.  I'm pretty sure they turned 8 & 23 months like...yesterday?  But apparently not.  I've got to whip those posts together asap.  Maybe tomorrow after my morning of trudging through rivers & mudpits and scaling walls ;)

Nug is having a baby like...REALLY soon.  I AM FRIGGIN PUMPED!!!!  I'm kinda sorta going to be an aunt soon.  a baby to spoil and NOT discipline....holla.

Jacci is getting married ridiculously soon.  This makes me smile REALLY big every time I think about it!   SO EXCITED!!!!!!

Okay.  I need to sleep off this vacation hangover so I can be peppy & excited in the morning for WD!! Woohoo!

Happy Saturday.  It is soooooo good to be home w/mi familia!

Current Goals...

1. Get into a workout routine and actually do it.  It's tough with babies!
2. Start journaling more regularly again.  I miss it...and it's a huge part of my spiritual development.  MUST get back into it.  Finding a time to be consistent with is the tough part!
3. Start reading every night before bed again.  Even if it's only 5 pages.  I need it.  I have too many books on my list to NOT get back into the habit.

Ready...GO.

Top 3

Last night at Lifegroup (which is at our place this month) our "icebreaker" required us each to name our Top 3 concerts we've been to or that we'd like to see.  That's a random question I always ask people anyway, so I was excited to hear everyone's answers.  I love to know what kind of music people are into.

My fav 3 concerts of all time are Ben Folds, Britney (any of the ones I attended qualify...duh.), and Kings of Leon (I forgot about that one last night, and instead said Keith Urban...who is now a close 4th.)

I scored a last minute ticket to Ben Folds in Nov of 2005, but I only found one so I had to go alone.  Did I care? HECK NO!  Anything to see Benny Boy....and it was the GREATEST concert of my life.  AND- some unknown band called "The Fray" opened for him... we were all buzzing about how awesome the opening band was when we left the place...little did we know they had some major fame in store :)  I wish I could back and relive that day.  I was sooooo high on life.

Loobs, Jacci, and I went to our fair share of Britney concerts in our younger years... we were literally in heaven at the time.  We had a somewhat unhealthy obsession that girl.  I'm pretty sure we all reallyyyy wanted to be her.

I got a random invite to the Kings of Leon concert in Dallas right after B, Aves & I moved up here from my sis-in-law, Ames.  I will be eternally greatful for that invite, because I wasn't into their music at the time...I was annoyed at how obsessed everyone had become after just ONE song...but after the concert, I hopped right on the band wagon....because these guys are talented, have great music, and put on a grrreat show.  I kind of fell in love a little bit....

Welcome to the tornado in my head...

For some reason, my head is SWIRLING with random thoughts right now. gotta get them out:

I love my job. FOR real. It's awesome and I ACTUALLY look forward to going to work every day!

We had a "team party" with our vball team and tonight and decided that we're gonna start doing it once a month. It was a bunch of 20-somethings and then 72-yr-old Jack and his wife. PS- 72-yr-old Jack is a STUD vball player. I hope I can be like Jack when I'M 72.

I decided I want to live in an olllld Victorian looking house when I grow up. THey're SO cool and have so much character! I love them. There's this area in Tyler called the "Azalea District". OMGOODNESS I'm in love with it. All of the houses are super old but gorgeous and their yards are COVERED with azaleas...and a bunch of other fun landscaping. I love it. And there are parks every few blocks...it's just...GREAT.

Rileton is in Costa and I can't WAIT to hear from him! It turns out that Sarah Ford's little sister is there too! RANDOM/I'm glad he has a teeny little bit of unexpected familiarity over there with him.

This wknd is B's bday and his parentals are coming into town. I'm EXCITED bc we're taking them to this AMAZING crawfish place that some friends of ours just introduced us too. They'll be obsessed.

This is SO super gay, but I want to know SO BAD if Jessica and Tony are still dating or not!! (pathetic...I know...but it's consuming my mind!)

My mom has braces and she looks so cute.

I found out today at our trainer meeting that this summer the East Texas Crisis Center wants 2 trainers to come help with their kids day camp once a week. I am PUMPED and hope it works out bc in the car on the way home from Austin this wknd I was JUST telling B how much I miss being involved in those kinds of things like we were in Austin. It's so hard when you move to a new place to figure out where to find cool opportunities like this.

I had the greatest time in Austin this weekend. It was seriously one of the best weekends I've had in a loooooooooooooooooooooooong time. I LOVE Brian. I LOVE Austin. I'm soooo happy I got to see all the ACU ppl in New B (congrats Nugster!). I'm super happy I got to see Tbaby graduate (UT commencement is THE.BOMB.)! I loved hangin with Rileton a little more before he left for Costa. Ahhhhh it was just a super amazing weekend with gorgeous weather, lots of ppl i LOVELOVELOVE, fun time with the hubster, a church service that MOVED me....God is good :)

K...bedtime. Peace.